Some observations

I'll eventually write the sequel to the New Year's Eve entry to explain how New Year's Eve ended for me and how I hurt all over. It's kinda funny and makes a good follow-up to some of the stuff I am going to ramble about here.

First of all, Dashboard Confessional has ruined the word "dashboard" for me. Every time I log in to write for this, I see the Blogger Dashboard. I then get angry and start looking around the room I'm sitting in because I think some girl's hair is everywhere screaming infidelities at me. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when you think some woman is shedding in your room as a sign of unfaithfulness? It is extremely difficult.

Last night I went to Cafe Diem in Richmond. I like to visit that establishment from time to time. It is either completely empty, save for a few middle-aged people, or it's completely full and a band is playing. The bands are often ridiculous, which I like. Last night was unusual because it was an amateur comedy night. These events are always hit and miss.

Sometimes on an amateur night, you'll be treated to a free show by a small-time, local, professional comic testing new material and it'll be entertaining. Sometimes you'll get that douche bag that thinks he's hillarious because his stoned yesmen laugh at his jokes. Last night was mostly the latter. There were two good acts. One was a guy that I have seen at Cozzy's in Newport News alot named James Polk (Though his last name is not Polk, I just do not know how to spell it) and he was awesome, as he always is. The second a guy that looks like Sasquatch walks onto the stage, you know good things will happen. The other good act was what appeared to be a cracked-out vagrant. I do not know if he was telling jokes or just saying the first words that came to his mind, but whatever he was saying, it was awesome and I nearly fell out of my chair at one point.

Sadly, there were alot of guys that could use some practice. There were even more guys that probably should have their vocal chords removed so they will not be able to speak into a microphone again. The best example of this was the moustachioed fellow that was obviously infatuated with Zack Galifianakas. He stood on a chair and taped his notes to the microphone stand. Eventually he started talking about how Tron: Legacy was awesome and Kanye West was in it. I turned my head to see where I had placed my Pabst Blue Ribbon, and when I looked back on the stage, he was not wearing a shirt. Everybody sitting around me was unable to explain where his shirt went because he was so awful they were not paying attention, but everyone saw his lack of shirt.

Cafe Diem was full of hipsters, too. I am not complaining about hipsters here, I just do not understand their existence sometimes. What do they do during the day? Seriously, I do not get it. I understand that they spend a lot of time trying to decide which flannel shirt goes best with the knit cap they purchased from a high-end store and then tossed in a garbage can (So it would look dirty), but what do they actually do? Do they have jobs? Can they find jobs outside of the restaurant industry?

I do not ask these questions about hipster women. While they can often be pretentious, I have come to find that hipster chicks are often just into art or music or something. That's fine. I am cool with hipster chicks. They can be artistic, they have ovaries. But hipster men? What is their deal? They just look homeless.

Maybe I just like taking a shower too much to ever understand.