How does this compare to what Buddha saw when walking down the street?

I was speaking with my friend Mikey the other. I told him a story that happened over the weekend where a homeless man spoke to me. After laughing at the story, Mikey asked me why so many homeless people talk to me. I had no answer for him. I do not know why the homeless love me, but they do. For whatever reason, they love to talk to me. Perhaps they can sense the socialism I exude. Perhaps they can sense I will listen to whatever weird thing they have to tell me. Whatever it is, they love me.

Homeless people on the streets of every city in the United States (And France, but that's a story for another day) will talk to me. The things they tell me range from the funny to the surreal. Funny, like the oddly frequent times when homeless men will tell me I am, or look like I could be, a starting offensive lineman for the New England Patriots. Surreal, like when a man claimed to be former NFL player Ken Oxendine's trainhopping uncle while I was waiting in the rain to get inside a punk show. Given the nature of the celebrity that was claimed as a relative, I'm inclined to believe him.

This most recent run-in with a homeless man of which I was speaking fits in the funny category.

I was walking into a Richmond gas station to purchase some beverages for my evening. As I was about to enter the gas station, I heard a man shouting from across the street.

"DAMN! You look sad as shit!"

I was confused. I didn't think I looked sad. It had been a rough couple of days for me, but when I am in public, I usually keep my emotions in check. If anything, I felt I looked surprisingly happy given the snow on the ground and sour Starburst I just ate. I looked around to make sure he wasn't yelling at someone else. I was the only person in range.

"Man, you sad as shit! What frat party did you not get invited to?" He continued.

"Actually, I'm buying beer for a party," I replied.

"Hey, man, you give me a dollar, I'll tell you the secret to happiness!"

Now, if you know me, you know that if someone on the street offers the secret to happiness for only a dollar, you know that I am going to give the man a dollar just to hear what on Earth he is talking about. So I walked across the street and I gave him a dollar. He told me the secret to happiness.

"FUCK EVERYONE!"

"Fuck everyone?"

"Yeah, FUCK EVERYONE! Fuck 'em in every meaning of the word!"

"Every meaning?"

"Yeah, stick your dick in 'em and fuck 'em! If they don't like, then fuck them!"

I thanked the man for his time and promptly walked back to the gas station. I purchased my beverages and went back to my car. Across the street, I saw the man dancing by himself under the bus stop canopy.

Song of the day: "Fountain of Sorrow" by Jackson Browne

As the winter winds littered St. Louis with pretentious tools

I keep all two weeks' worth of music in my iTunes library on shuffle at almost all times. I find it strange that I will hear some songs daily, and others I have not listened to since the summer of 2008. One song that I hear often is "Winter Winds" by Mumford and Sons. I enjoy Mumford and Sons, and hipster-sympathizing women like that I enjoy them as well. Unfortunately, because hipster-sympathizing women enjoy Mumford and Sons, they are a band that is popular amongst hipsters. They fall into the increasingly hip genre of music that focuses on folksy sounds because electricity is too mainstream.

When I heard "Winter Winds" earlier, it reminded me of one of the more pretentious encounters with hipsterdom I have had in my life. THankfully, it was not an encounter with a physically present person, but a radio station in Illinois about fifteen miles from St. Louis, Missouri. It was a college radio station of some sort and I was surprised to hear the song come on my radio. I listened to it as I ate my fast food lunch. This non-mainstream sogn ironically mixed very well with my McNuggets. All ten pieces of them. The song ended and the disc jockey spoke, and that was what pissed me off.

"You justheard 'Winter Winds' by Mumford and Sons," he said. "It is the latest track of emphasis, or, as the conformist crowd might say, single, off of their album Sigh No More."

Really?

Did he really just call it a track of emphasis because he is too cool for the word "Single?"

I was very excited immediately afterwards when a caller requested he play Pearl Jam.

Song of the day: "As Usual" by Polaris (Ironically, not "Winter Winds" by Mumford and Sons)

A History of Window Monsters

There have been two seperate instances where I could have sworn there was a monster of some sort in my window at my parent's house. These two seperate instances are comical because they have occurred in moments where my mental state was weakened by sleep or alcohol.

The first occurred a couple years ago. I have a cactus in my window that was given to me by Rachael for my birthday junior year of high school. I have no idea why it is still alive. Because I have this cactus in the window, the blinds are pulled up and sometimes the sunlight will wake me up at sunrise. One morning, I woke up in a daze and freaked out. I thought the apocalypse was in progress.

I saw in my window staring back at me what appeared to be the floating head of someone that resembled Dr. Janosz Poha from Ghostbusters II. He had the most disturbing grin ever and the sky was on fire behind him. My heart pounded and I wasn't sure if I was really awake or not, so like a brave 21-year-old man, I hid under the covers for a second before falling back asleep.

When I woke up later, I put it all together. The sun was coming up directly behind a bust of Thomas Jefferson. It was ridiculous.

The second instance was less dramatic than the first. A couple winter breaks ago, I had returned from an evening on the town and was a little inebriated. My parents turned out all of the red candle lights in the house, save for my room. For a second, I thought the second window monster was starting in my window. Then I remembered what was up, turned on the lights, and turned out the candles prior to going to bed.

What made me think of all of this is that I saw the candle lights in my room a few minutes ago. I have a new desk where part of it blocks the candle, so when I entered my room, it looked like the second window monster was winking at me. I laughed a little in my head at the though and figured, "Hey, this would be the perfect time to restart this thing with an actual entry rather than saying I'm going to restart it and then not."

Song of the day: "Do it All Again" by JJ Nobody & The Regulars