How does this compare to what Buddha saw when walking down the street?

I was speaking with my friend Mikey the other. I told him a story that happened over the weekend where a homeless man spoke to me. After laughing at the story, Mikey asked me why so many homeless people talk to me. I had no answer for him. I do not know why the homeless love me, but they do. For whatever reason, they love to talk to me. Perhaps they can sense the socialism I exude. Perhaps they can sense I will listen to whatever weird thing they have to tell me. Whatever it is, they love me.

Homeless people on the streets of every city in the United States (And France, but that's a story for another day) will talk to me. The things they tell me range from the funny to the surreal. Funny, like the oddly frequent times when homeless men will tell me I am, or look like I could be, a starting offensive lineman for the New England Patriots. Surreal, like when a man claimed to be former NFL player Ken Oxendine's trainhopping uncle while I was waiting in the rain to get inside a punk show. Given the nature of the celebrity that was claimed as a relative, I'm inclined to believe him.

This most recent run-in with a homeless man of which I was speaking fits in the funny category.

I was walking into a Richmond gas station to purchase some beverages for my evening. As I was about to enter the gas station, I heard a man shouting from across the street.

"DAMN! You look sad as shit!"

I was confused. I didn't think I looked sad. It had been a rough couple of days for me, but when I am in public, I usually keep my emotions in check. If anything, I felt I looked surprisingly happy given the snow on the ground and sour Starburst I just ate. I looked around to make sure he wasn't yelling at someone else. I was the only person in range.

"Man, you sad as shit! What frat party did you not get invited to?" He continued.

"Actually, I'm buying beer for a party," I replied.

"Hey, man, you give me a dollar, I'll tell you the secret to happiness!"

Now, if you know me, you know that if someone on the street offers the secret to happiness for only a dollar, you know that I am going to give the man a dollar just to hear what on Earth he is talking about. So I walked across the street and I gave him a dollar. He told me the secret to happiness.

"FUCK EVERYONE!"

"Fuck everyone?"

"Yeah, FUCK EVERYONE! Fuck 'em in every meaning of the word!"

"Every meaning?"

"Yeah, stick your dick in 'em and fuck 'em! If they don't like, then fuck them!"

I thanked the man for his time and promptly walked back to the gas station. I purchased my beverages and went back to my car. Across the street, I saw the man dancing by himself under the bus stop canopy.

Song of the day: "Fountain of Sorrow" by Jackson Browne