Having just returned from Spring Break, I went no more than five minutes before things got really gay in my house. I returned to find Tom, Brian, and Brian's boyfriend Ray eating dinner. Because my birthday was the other day, I brought what was left of my birthday cake with me. I told them they could have a piece, but leave the pieces with the balloons for me because I like the big, thick, sugary ones. Ray then says "Just as long as I can have the big, thick, salty ones."
A few minutes later Tom and I were discussing how he has quit drinking, but he keeps eating all the time because he needed something to do with his mouth. Ray then breaks out his cell phone and says, "Time to call the boys over!"
This is what I live with.
A little later, Tom tells me to look at the living room and to tell him what I think. I don't notice that my entire living room has been redecorated. Instead, my eyes are drawn to the bottle of vaseline sitting in the middle of the living room table. Turns out, at Home Depot the woman in the paint section told them that if they cover the windows they were to paint in vaseline, the paint would not seep through the vaseline and they could just clean the vaseline up later. It didn't work. Now when I look out the windows of my living room, I get to see what the neighborhood looks like if it were all lubed up and covered in white stains.
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